Learning how to follow…

Yes, we’re still alive. As I write this I am sitting in the parking lot of yet another ballpark. This one just happens to be in Midland, Michigan. The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind, deserving of multiple posts that I assure you will eventually come.

For some reason, I have been getting a lot of questions lately about my career aspirations amidst this crazy and often unexpected lifestyle. I can honestly say for the first time in my life, I don’t know.

As soon as I could talk I have told anyone who would listen about my dreams. Professional soccer player, fashion buyer, international business mogul and poised PR professional. I have always had my life planned out.

It’s really funny how God works. He takes the weaknesses and insecurities in your life and makes you face them — head on at 100 MPH. There’s no hiding from the God of the universe.

I’m learning to follow. Our current lifestyle is based on my husband’s career. I chose to put my career and job security on the back burner to go with him to pursue his dream because I could feel it was God’s calling on my life. I used to wince when people would hear our situation and say, “oh, so you’re going to follow Him?” I have always prided myself in being the leader. Now, I understand that following is not shameful when God is leading. My career is not my identity and my salary doesn’t determine my worth.

While I am blessed to have plenty of work to do every week right now, I know my current situation won’t last forever. Looking more long term, I know there will be a day when baseball isn’t our whole lives… And then what?

My intense need to have my future figured out reflects a lack of trust in God’s plan, to be completely real. It’s embarrassing to admit.

After spending time with my dad and finally getting fed up with sulking about my inability to predict the future, I got over it. Who cares if I don’t know exactly what I want to do when, I dare say, I “grow up?”

God is in control. Bottom line. He has the number of hairs on my head counted and my days numbered. My job is not to determine my path, but to walk faithfully as he directs my steps.

I have taken time recently to think about things that will make me happy, regardless of money. If nothing else, the last few months have taught me that you can do a lot with a little, it’s all about being smart with your money.

I’m not saying my current situation has caused a lack of ambition. I still want to do big things. I still give 100% at everything I do. I know that I enjoy PR, marketing, social and event management. I know that something in that realm interests me. I enjoy working with teens and encouraging them to make good choices in life, which usually comes through coaching soccer. These are all things I know, now I just have to be patient to see where our journey takes us and how these passions convert into a job title.

No matter what, I’m enjoying where we’re at now. I spend my nights at the ballpark dodging foul balls. I work from home and get to spend time with my husband. We have a crazy, unexpected schedule, but that’s life. This is such a fun time that I could easily waste worrying about what the future brings. Instead, I’m choosing to enjoy every day.

There will be a day when we return to “normal life” as many see it. It could be in two years and it could be 20– who knows? Life is about enjoying the ride as it slows down and speeds up, over bumps and around detours. Thank God for reminding me of this truth.

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4 responses to “Learning how to follow…

  1. Loved your blog post. I follow someone on Twitter who tweeted the link to your blog, so I clicked on it and realized what a small baseball world we live in. My husband plays for the Dayton Dragons, and we will actually be in South Bend, IN this weekend for the games (5 games! Since there was a rainout last time Dayton & Silver Hawks played??). Maybe see you at a game!

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